Tell Her This
by Molly Raesly
Summary: James has always loved Lily, but when he sees her alone in the Common Room crying, he can't comfort her, even though he desperately wants to. In fact, he can't seem to be able to tell her anything at all.


Tell Her This  
by Molly Raesly

James Potter sat alone in the Gryffindor Common room. It was nearly five in the morning and from the looks of it, it was going to be a very cold December day. He had gotten up this abmormally early because he couldn't sleep and the constant thundering snores that echoed from Sirius up in his dorm weren't helping. Plus, he figured he might as well get some work done on his potions essay.

He was midway through his essay on the Draught of the Living Dead, when he heard the creaking sound of a door opening. A girl, who seemed to be either a sixth or seventh year, was exiting the girls' dorm and coming down the stairs. James stood very still and tried to make as little noise as possible. He needn't have bothered, however, because she seemed to hardly notice her surroundings at all. He doubted whether or not she would have even looked up to see a crowd of centaurs, let alone him. So, his curiosity getting the better of him, James crouched towards the girl.

However, as he crept nearer, he realized it wasn't just any girl. There could be no mistaking that red hair and emerald green eyes. The features that made her stick out from all of the other girls at Hogwarts. They were the reason James had noticed her in the first place. Actually, it was why he soon grew to love her. This was James's long time unrequited love, the infamous Lily Evans. Yet this morning, she did not look like she was up to answering a professor's question with brilliant accuracy, or tutoring some first year in Charms, or even cursing James into oblivion for asking her out like she did when they were younger. She was staring at an envelope she was holding in her slightly quivering right hand. Carefully, as to not rip the contents inside, she opened it. As she read it, her lips formed the words of what she was reading. James quickly realized that whatever it said, it must not have been very good news because she started crying. Not heavy sobs, just tears silently running down her face.

_Tell her not to cry. __  
__I just got scared that's all. __  
__Tell her I'll be by her side. __  
__All she has to do is call._

James felt the sudden urge to and comfort her. To go up to her, wrap her into his arms, and whisper into her ear that everything was going to be okay. He wanted desperately to stop her from crying. She didn't deserve to be so unhappy, and he couldn't stand to see her this way. Unfortunately, he could not get his body to comply with what his heart so obviously wanted him to do. He wanted so badly to be there for her, when she clearly needed someone. And he was there, but he couldn't be there for her. Just not yet, at least.

_Tell her the chips are down. __  
__I drank too much and shouted it aloud. __  
__Tell her something in my heart. __  
__Needs her more than even clowns need the laughter of the crowd._

James knew he wasn't perfect. He had been called conceited many times, especially by the girl crying in front of him. He also was a bit of a show-off, but he had worked since fifth year on becoming less of a prat, and now, in his seventh year, he could safely say that for the most part, he was a decent guy. Unfortunately, he doubted whether or not he would ever be able shake the reputation of being a pranking womanizer that he had got when he was fifteen. However, he knew that if he could just call Lily his, even just for an hour, he would give up anything. The Marauders, his Quidditch skills, his wealth. He would even give up all the attention he got as he walked around the corridors of the school. Anything. None of that compared to how much he loved her.

_Tell her what was wrong. __  
__I sometimes think too much __  
__But say nothing at all. __  
__And tell her from this high terrain __  
__I am ready now to fall. _

In the past, when he had asked out Lily practically every day or more, it was just out of fear. He was scared of her rejection, so he figured if he made a game out of it, hid behind an ego, he wouldn't get hurt. He used his Marauder status to try to win Lily over. He never showed her what he was really like, he just settled for putting on an image of someone he thought everyone wanted him to be. And quite a few people did like him. They cheered him on at Quidditch games and begged him to be their friend or to go out with him. But, Lily, she never did. It was just so ironic that now all he wanted to do was be vulnerable with her because he knew that even if he got hurt and she still rejected him, she would know the real him. And that was almost as important to James as being with her. He had to show her. He was ready.

_Tell her not to go. __  
__I ain't holding on no more. __  
__Tell her nothing if not this: __  
__All I want to do is kiss her _

Lily had finally started to move. She wiped the tears from her eyes and got up. She threw the letter, along with the envelope, into the fire. James watched as she slowly made her way up the stairs back to her dorm. He wanted to call out to her. To stop her. To talk to her. But most of all, he wanted to kiss her. Not in the same lustful way he had two years ago, but a kiss full of passion and love that he felt for her. Just say something! Use your mouth! Talking isn't that hard. It had something to do with the diaphragm and the esophagus, or maybe it was the windpipe. And then, of course, there was some sort of place where the voice came from, and the brain was needed to process language and nerve impulses of some kind. Okay, maybe the whole process was rather complicated, but the actual action was simple. Just say something, you idiot! But he didn't. He didn't call out to her, and she was soon out of sight. He only knew she was truly gone when he heard a door close quietly.

_Tell her something in my mind __  
__Freezes up from time to time._

James turned around to face the fireplace and groaned as he gripped his hair between his fingers. He sat down dejectedly, and looking into the fire that so reminded him of Lily's hair, he whispered, "Why can't I just tell her?"

okay. this song is called "Tell Her This" by Del Amitri. it's a really pretty song so even if you didn't like this song fic, i still recommend you by it off of iTunes or something. i hope you liked it! i feel bad for james, he never gets to tell lily how he feels. it's really kind of sad. anyways, thank you for taking the time to read this! please leave a review!


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